I had a revelation the other day whilst having a lay down between clients. I was thinking about happiness, the future and how I was currently feeling.

I suddenly realised I was feeling like I had lost control over my destiny. I was feeling stagnant and looking to others to make decisions, so I could move forwards. How insane - placing my own happiness in the hands of others!

I started the analysing over and over in my head wondering where I went wrong and beating myself up for getting into this uncomfortable situation, yet again, it would seem. Not surprisingly, none of this helped and I still felt uncomfortable and stuck.

So I called in my big guns, the people who help, support and guide me. I took from them the things which resonated with me and began to sit, right smack bang in the middle of my drama. I sat, and I sat, and I sat in that deep, dark, uncomfortable place. It was not easy and at times I thought this would never end, but it did and new feelings emerged.

With the new feelings also came awareness. I became fully aware of what I had created in my life, why I had created it, and suddenly the direction I was heading was clear. I hadn’t lost control over my destiny at all. I just needed to (in the words of my good friend) “shift gears”.

Like a manual car, if you are heading for a steep hill, or major turn in the road, you must change gears. The vehicle requires you to and will let you know through its performance if you choose to ignore the warnings, coughing and spluttering or kangaroo-hopping along. Changing gears allows the journey to be smooth and easy, so you can arrive at your destination effortlessly.

So now I have shifted gears, it is about embracing my direction and enjoying the journey. Whilst I still would like others to play and laugh with me along the way, their willingness no longer dictates my direction. I am always in charge and the King of my throne.